Keepers: Zipeau, N-D311, Dahtsos, Bella
Objectives: Head into the dungeon our late father left behind for us, while calling Zipeau and N-D311 “dirty stinky babies” as much as possible.
Outcome: [Above Table Note: this is non-canon(ish).] We went through the dungeon and were rewarded with a demonic sword popsicle, before waking up at our beach resort and realizing it was all a drug-induced hallucination. We brought our new friend Zipeau back to join the Accord Keepers. 

FROM: Accord Keepers HQ
TO: Belladonna Tanglefoot
RE: Mission Briefing Submission – Second Warning

Dear Belladonna Tanglefoot,

You were asked to provide a reference for our latest Accord Keeper candidate, Zipeau, who you brought back from your corporate retreat without clearance on Keeper-subsidized tickets. Your reference was confusing, full of inaccuracies (we are aware of your history with your family you lost in the Mourning), and again, highly unprofessional (please note the words “dirty stinky baby” should not ever be used in that sequence in official reports, and not repeated that many times). We ask that you and your fellow Keepers refrain from partaking in whatever hallucinatory substances you ingested, as your entire sense of reality appears to have been warped. This is your second warning, and we are reconsidering allowing your attendance on future recreational excursions. 

Regards,
AKHQ

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Zipeau is my brother! My brother from another mother! He’s cool, even if he is a dirty stinky baby.

That’s what our dad called him and N-D311. They’re dirty stinky babies. Dahtsos and I were instructed to do everything in our power to make them believe that to get through the dungeon Dad left for us. He died a while ago. But he left us a dungeon! And a bunch of pre-recorded holograms leaving us with instructions. It was under a stupid looking rock. It looked like Dahtsos.

First, we had to fight off a bunch of hot dogs and hamburgers. We wanted to eat them but I think they were trying to eat us back. Then we found a great big meadow, which is a weird thing to find underground. There was a big tea party with a halfling with a big purple hat that was also his mouth? Finally we learned we needed to get a demonic sword unchained from this giant skeleton dude. We had a miscommunication I think, because we got into a fight and sort of killed him. But Zipeau and N-D311 must have really believed they looked like dirty stinky babies, because we all pulled through together, and we were told that wouldn’t happen unless they truly believed they were dirty stinky babies.

The sword was cold and was also a tasty popsicle. It was a treat for making it through the dungeon Dad left for us! Zipeau didn’t really appreciate it, but he’s a dirty stinky baby so whatever. Even if he is a dirty stinky baby, he’s still our little brother so I think he would make a good Accord Keeper.